I want to make a few things clear about why I created this group:
a) Asexualitic (and other aces-orientated sites, such as Ace-Book and AVEN) generally are orientated at people within the asexual spectrum. This includes asexuals, demisexuals, grey aces, … Not everyone on Asexualitic is 100% asexual or anti-sexual, and the same goes with Ace-Book and with AVEN. Demisexuals, grey a’s, etc have been using sites like this for a long time and there’s plenty of them. This group about sex fears is open to anyone who wants to discuss sex fears ; this group is hosted within the umbrella of asexualitic.com which is a site which attracts people from all over the asexual spectrum: asexuals, grey-a’s, demisexuals, …
b) I did not say by any means that people who are afraid of sex should, after curing those fears, engage in sexual activities. Whether people don’t want to ever have sex or want to have sex occasionally or under certain circumstances (which can be the case with demisexuals and grey-aces, but not necessarily) is up to them. I never claimed that this group intends to “cure” people so that they can have sex again. No longer being afraid of sexuality doesn’t necessarily mean that you are wanting to have sex afterwards. It means you’re no longer afraid of it. That doesn’t mean you will become a sexual person ; you can be unafraid but still indifferent to it.
c) There is a nuance between people who don’t want sex or are demisexual or grey-ace and who see sex as not necessary or even downward unwanted, and people who on top of that have serious fears of it. A person who is simply uninterested or indifferent towards sex, is a different story than someone who on top of that can experience panic or anxiety when accidently confrontated with sexuality (eg in magazines, in films, …). Trying to put an end to those panic feelings and the suffering they bring with them, doesn’t mean you suddenly need to become a sexual being. You can also just try to get rid of your anxieties and become a person not afraid of sex, but still indifferent or uninterested in it. See the nuance?
There are grey-aces and demisexuals groups on platforms such as Asexualitic, Ace-Book, AVEN, … Being afraid of sex on top of lack of interest or indifference towards sex is an important nuance compared to not being afraid but simply being indifferent or uninterested in sex. I by no means say that curing a fear means you have to go into the other extreme and just have sex … The decision to engage in sexual activities or not, lies entirely with each individual. For a grey-ace or demisexual sex may not be totally off the radar (but also nowhere near the bucket list), for some others it is a “no” regardless of circumstances. I don’t even want to Judge whether someone should try sex or not, since this choice is entirely up to the individual, and this site and similar sites bring together many people with different stories and backgrounds (including pure asexuals, demisexuals, grey aces, …). I am by no means going to Judge what a person decides to do or not do in their private lives.
This group is created for those who, on top of being asexual/demisexual/grey-ace/… also experience a serious fear for anything sexual or for certain aspects of sexuality. Wanting to cure a fear is a normal sentiment, even if after the healing you’re still not going to have sex. Taking a fear away doesn’t mean you’re going to just become sexually active …
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